Faith, Family, Finances, Funnies, and Flarps



“I didn’t forget” 

Yesterday is was pouring down rain. Not a steady kind of rain but more of an “holy cow this may drowned us” kind of rain. I left work and had to the grocery store. I’m not even kidding when I say it literally rains every time I pull up in the Kroger parking lot. It never fails!!! 

Anyway, I endured the endless list, swiped the debit card, and got soaking flipping wet while getting to my car and loading allllllll the groceries up. My umbrella broke and somehow managed to slice my hand, get blood on my jeans, all while being freezing cold in soaking wet shoes. 

I called my husband to vent and without laughing he manage to calm me down. I made it home, got it all unloaded and got changed into dry clothes. It was raining so hard I didn’t even check the mail. And for me that’s huge! I love checking the mail. (Weirdo, I know) 

We enjoyed the crockpot lasagna I had started that morning and continued to binge watch “Big Little Lies” (better watch it quick- I only signed up for the 7 day freebie pass). About 7:45 it had stopped raining and I convinced myself and husband that we should take a quick walk while we could. I had that whole food-hangover thing going from the lasagna and it was either walk or sleep. 

We enjoyed a quick walk around the neighborhood (just enough to get my steps in on my Fitbit) and as we were walking towards the front door I remembered I hadn’t checked the mail. 

As neighbor came out to say hi I flipped through the envelopes only to see “the one”. We have our dates for classes!!! (The required ones to adopt) 

There it is. Literally in black and white… the dates and times of our classes. The final BIG step. Boom. There it is. 

Here’s the thing… through my groaning and complaining of wet shoes and broken umbrellas, God hadn’t forgotten about me. He hadn’t forgotten about “our plans” that he is transforming into His will. He knew we wanted dates so desperately and in His time… he gave them to us. He literally said to me “I didn’t forget” 

Here we go! Still a process, still steps to check off, and still tons of waiting… but I needed the reminder that God never forgets about us… and I never have a reason to think otherwise. 

Thanks for being a part of this journey,
Cara Roxanne 

Hope… it’s kind of our thing 

I grew up in a Christian home and attending church. I heard sermons about Hope and sang songs about Hope. It wasn’t until I was much older that I began to understand the depths of that word. 

In one of the dark times in my life I was struggling with infertility. If you have been there than you can totally feel me on this. And if you haven’t, say a prayer of thankfulness. There is such pain and despair that come from suffering with infertility. I truly had lost Hope. I was angry at God and with myself. I felt like less of a woman and I felt like no one understood. Thinking back on those times make me so sad. I hurt for where I was and I’m thankful I’m not there now 

Don’t get me wrong… I’m not fertile now!! But I don’t “suffer” if that makes sense. One day, on January 3rd of 2008 to be exact, it all made sense. God was preparing to be a mommy. Just now in the way I had always planned. 

When I met my daughter I fell in love. She was mine. And I knew God had given her to me. She already knew her name so we never questioned changing it but we did change her middle name… to Hope. The hope that had left me had returned and Hope sure is beautiful. 

Today I sit here wondering what in the world is going on with this adoption process. I’ve sent emails and phone calls and all I get back is that “we are waiting to fit you guys into a class”. Well hurry it up!!! I didn’t say that… not yet anyway. I’m trying to not get upset and I’m truly trying to do the things I failed today the first time. The first time I was trying to become a parent I missed all the lessons. I felt like they were punishments. I missed out on what God may be trying to show me. And I don’t want to do that again. 

My heart isn’t “heavy” but it’s anxious. But this I know…. God makes all things beautiful in his time. And God, while you are making things beautiful– make me beautiful in you, too. Show me what I can do to be better prepared this time around. Show me what I need to work on and things I need to fix in me so that I can be a better wife and mother. And oh Father— Thank you for HOPE! 

Thank you walking this journey with us,

Cara Roxanne 


The opposite of encouraged.

That is how I feel.

I’m still trusting in God’s plan for us. That hasn’t changed…but I am discouraged.

I told you everything I know. We got the letter telling us we were approved for classes and would be notified “soon” of our dates for our required classes.

I haven’t heard a word since then.

It’s not the end of the world, but it is so disheartening to have things move quickly and then just stop. I wasn’t prepared for a speedy process (though my heart wanted one) but with the way things started it just felt like we were on a roll.

I believe that God uses many aspects and situations to teach us lessons. I’m afraid this is my “you are not in control” lesson. {Why God, why? I’m SO good at being in control!!!} Lord knows [literally] that I struggle with control issues. I have a LARGE problem <is it ACTUALLY a problem?> with needing to be in control. When I am in control of, let’s say, my family finances, we have more money put aside than when my husband is in control of the finances. (This is NOT a newsflash… he knows this). Organizing <sans a label maker like my sister carries around> and keeping order is one of my strong suits. I have a “knack” for things like that. This is why I feel so strongly that God may be teaching me to give control to Him.

So that’s what I am going {trying} to do. God’s got this. He hasn’t forgotten about us or the child we will bring into our family. He just has lessons for us to learn along the way.


“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Thank you for being a part of this journey,

Cara Roxanne

And so the journey begins…

The first step is always the hardest.


I wish I could tell you how this whole process began, but it happened so gradual and yet so sudden that I don’t even know how to explain it… but I will try.

Probably 2 years ago (I say probably because I have no concept of time) we began talking about adoption. We called and got papers sent to us from the state to look it over and talk about it. The papers came, we read through them, and they set on the counter for months. After a very candid conversation we decided it just wasn’t the time and it didn’t feel right. I have always thought it would be fun to adopt again yet I was completely content to have one child. After looking at these papers for months, I finally threw them out. It just wasn’t right.

Flash forward around a year (there I go again with my guessing) and a couple spoke at church about ways we could get involved with the children’s home here in Hot Springs. We grabbed the information at the end of service and looked it over. This was for having a child come to your home more or less like a “big brother” program. It would have been having the child come to cookouts and possibly spend a weekend in our home. We were both excited about it–yet we went no further.

But over the past 6 months or so, something began to change. We talked often about “when” and “if” we ever adopted a child. I pointed it out one time that my husband had said “when” and even he was shocked he had said those words. Something was churning and we weren’t sure what.

I have some Facebook friends who have recently adopted and one couple that is in the process of bringing their children home from the country they currently reside in. I have followed their story and shared each step with my husband. We have been excited to see their updates and follow their story. Why? I don’t know… I have adopted before so it’s not foreign to me but something just made me want to know more.

Sometime before Christmas (which means between November 1st and Christmas day because I put my tree up extremely too early), my husband walked in the room and said “Let’s do it. It feels right. I think we are supposed to do this.” I couldn’t have agreed more! So once again I got the papers sent to us only THIS time we filled out them out with excitement and mailed them back.

So far we have had the background check, finger prints and initial home visit completed. We are waiting to get signed up for our mandated classes. After those are completed there will be a final walk through the home and then we will be considered “open and waiting.”

Waiting. Here’s where prayer comes in. We are waiting as patiently as possible. (Which if you know me means… well, not so patiently) And what are we waiting for? WE HAVE NO IDEA!!! We have ZERO clue as to what our future looks like. We specified no age, race, or gender. So will I be welcoming a teeny tiny infant or a teenager? I can’t answer that. But God can. Sometimes I wish he could just shoot me a text with that info so that I could sleep more soundly!! But it doesn’t work that way.

This journey is going to teach us all SO much. Patience, faith and trust are at the top of my list for things I will continue to learn but HOPE is what I cling to.

One of my favorite hymns states “But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know He holds my hand.” I cling to that. I don’t know what will happen. I wish I had more to tell you. I know that YOU want the details too! I don’t know what this journey will look like, but I know that He paved the road and he will walk us down it.

Pray for us. Pray for this child.

Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

Thank you for being a part of this journey,

Cara Roxanne

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