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Looking forward to 2018

I REALLY do love a new year!

That fresh start. The clean slate. The unknown. The wonder. I LOVE it.

2017

Every year my husband resolves not to make resolutions. {Party pooper.} I sit down every year and truly ponder and dream of what I want to see different in the new year. I NEVER resolve to lose weight but I ALWAYS resolve to be healthier. I resolve to be nice to the new people that show up at the gym from January 1st-17th and then I don’t have to see them anymore because they gave up. I resolve to pray more and be nicer. But i’ve had some things stirring in me this year that I want to share with you. Maybe for accountability? Or maybe because you need to hear it too…

  1. This year i’m done chasing people! I love people. Hello-i’m a therapist! All I do is listen to people!!!!!! I ENJOY being a listener and hearing what people have to say. I enjoy getting to know people and entertaining people in our home. I LOVE making new friends and making fun memories with others. But this year- I am putting my tennis shoes down. I do NOT have the energy to chase people that don’t chase me back. I will be kind, nice, and i’m here if you need me–but I cannot do it anymore. It’s exhausting and painful to always be chasing others! You want to hang out with me or see me? I bet you know how to find me. Sounds harsh, right? I have re-written this paragraph 4 times and even took a 2 hour break. I don’t want to sound mean but I can’t find any other words. I was talking to my friend/mentor a few weeks ago. I called her in tears and rambled on for 30 minutes about how hurt I was over feeling this pressure to get friends together and to be the “planner” of every group of friends I have. She let me vent and then said “so why don’t you just stop it?” Why hadn’t I thought of that? It is OK to need a break and 2018 is going to be MY  year to sit back and STOP CHASING! Sometimes I feel like I chase people (that makes me sound like a stalker) because I believe all humans crave relationships. We crave that person to talk to or that couple to hang out with! I strongly believe that is a God-given design of His people. But I am going to learn {and it probably won’t be easy} how to just sit still and STOP chasing. I’ve been hurt too many times by “friends” and people that I thought were there for me only to find out they weren’t. I hope by the close of 2018 I know who my real friends are AND I hope I feel rested from refusing to CHASE!

2. Enjoy the quiet. I’m a go-er. I like to go, do, see, explore- hence the reason I go to bed so early! I get crap from friends for how early I go to bed but when i’m awake it is ON! I’d rather be going then sitting idle. To an extent that’s a pretty awesome [if I do say so myself] trait, but on the other hand it can lead to exhaustion and burn-out. *Hence my #1 for this year* I have been prayerfully seeking wisdom in this area because I DO consider myself a content person in so many ways. But then when I spend the time to dissect behaviors/habits of mine I realize that the world probably doesn’t view me that way. Sure-it really doesn’t matter what other people think, but I strive to be consistent (you may recall from a previous post that is my FAVORITE word) in action/word/mindset, and part of being content is being okay with the quiet. The still. I take for granted that we CAN go and do and part of me is dreading this next year due to the fact that we won’t be going as much {stupid Dave Ramsey}… I intend to use this time as a way to be shaped into a better version of myself.

3. No more comparisons! I STRUGGLE on a daily basis with comparison. I am a confident woman but that does not come without insecurities. In fact, in a lot of ways it comes with more! I am always so concerned that I came across TOO confident, or God forbid, arrogant. But I DO compare myself! I see powerful in the women in the world making a huge difference and then I see myself. What did I do today? Sure I helped a kid calm down and stop throwing chairs but how did that better the world? I am CONSTANTLY comparing what others can do!! And of course there are the natural female comparisons of her someone having better hair, a nicer car, better job… but those I can deal with for the most part. For me it’s seeing woman all over the world making a difference and me sitting here wanting so desperately to do something amazing but falling short every time… mostly out of fear of trying. In 2018, no more comparisons for me. Well, at least that’s the plan.

4. No more sitting back and waiting for change. I am the worlds worst at saying “I know how to solve that if they would have thought to ask me.” (Referring to political decisions, mainly.) I was talking to my Dad over our family Christmas in Nashville this past weekend. I was expressing my fears/concerns about changes happening in our State regarding healthcare and other such issues. After I said my say about my thoughts and frustrations my Dad said “Have you thought about writing a letter to your Congressman or Senator?” Well…ummm…no. I haven’t. We continued talking and did some research on WHO I would contact. Why hadn’t I thought about that? Why am I sitting around shaking my head and not doing anything about it? I may not add any cracks to the “glass ceiling” but I will for sure be making steps to promote good and honest change that is so desperately needed. No more sitting back and WAITING for change!

So what about you? What are you looking forward to in this new year?

Thanks for reading!

For Now,

Cara Roxanne

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Discouragement.

The opposite of encouraged.

That is how I feel.

I’m still trusting in God’s plan for us. That hasn’t changed…but I am discouraged.

I told you everything I know. We got the letter telling us we were approved for classes and would be notified “soon” of our dates for our required classes.

I haven’t heard a word since then.

It’s not the end of the world, but it is so disheartening to have things move quickly and then just stop. I wasn’t prepared for a speedy process (though my heart wanted one) but with the way things started it just felt like we were on a roll.

I believe that God uses many aspects and situations to teach us lessons. I’m afraid this is my “you are not in control” lesson. {Why God, why? I’m SO good at being in control!!!} Lord knows [literally] that I struggle with control issues. I have a LARGE problem <is it ACTUALLY a problem?> with needing to be in control. When I am in control of, let’s say, my family finances, we have more money put aside than when my husband is in control of the finances. (This is NOT a newsflash… he knows this). Organizing <sans a label maker like my sister carries around> and keeping order is one of my strong suits. I have a “knack” for things like that. This is why I feel so strongly that God may be teaching me to give control to Him.

So that’s what I am going {trying} to do. God’s got this. He hasn’t forgotten about us or the child we will bring into our family. He just has lessons for us to learn along the way.

psalm

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Thank you for being a part of this journey,

Cara Roxanne

Why IS my heart so broken?

I have spent all week trying to put into words why my heart is SO broken over this election. I may not have it ALL figured out, but I think now I can speak my mind at least to some degree.

 1. I personally LOVE Hillary.

Sure, she has made her fair share of mistakes. She deleted emails. And hear me say– that was WRONG. That couldn’t be more wrong. Not only did she delete them, but she KNEW better. It was kind of as if she was saying “the rules don’t apply to me.” I don’t like that. She knew better. She shouldn’t have done that. But let’s move on now… I have respect for her. She gave her adult life to making a difference. She made a difference while being the First Lady of Arkansas, she made a difference while being the First Lady of our country, and she made a difference as Secretary of State. Her accomplishments are endless. She has self-lessly (and probably at times self-ISH-ly) given of her time, her money, and her ability to make things happen. For that- my admiration is so strong.

2. The thought of a woman President made me giddy.

It’s time, y’all! It’s freaking time! We have had some amazing men run this country. Now I can say we have had men of different races run our country. What about a woman? It’s just time! It’s time to bring a female perspective to the way our country is ran. It is time to have a woman be in the highest position in this country. It IS time! I am proud to be a woman. I am proud of the differences I have because of having the nurturing, yet sometimes, emotional, traits that a woman possesses. I am STILL proud to be a woman, but America, it IS time for a woman to be President of the United States of America. I remember about 4 years ago when I told my daughter she could be anything she wanted to be. She went through a list of things: veterinarian, teacher, astronaut, and I replied yes to all of them. I looked at her and said “You could even be the President of the United States if you wanted to be.” She looked at me with her big eyes and said “I can’t do that mommy… that’s a man’s job.” I wanted to be able to tell her Wednesday that it had just happened- a woman had just been elected to run our country. And instead I had to explain how Donald Trump would [attempt] to run our country. I was ready to rewrite history. Don’t get me wrong- we are rewriting alright…just not in the way I had hoped.

Two years ago I posted a photo on my Facebook page. It was a photo of a bumper sticker had just gotten in the mail (from joining Emily’s List) and it said “A Woman’s Place is in the White House.” I was so proud of that! Someone I know well commented and said “No- a woman’s place is in the kitchen.” This was not said in gist. This same person replied to another similar photo this week where I had mentioned how I truly hoped in my lifetime I would see a female run our country. His response “I hope it’s not in mine.” This is yet another reason why I am so convinced that IT IS TIME for a female to run our country. These small minded, misogynous, attitudes have got to be put in their place!

white-house

3. America IS great. (in my opinion)

We don’t need to make it great “again” as Trump so loudly and proudly proclaimed (while wearing a hate made from China, I might add). America IS great! We aren’t the best at everything we do. We are behind is health care and education (and probably more areas) but we ARE a great country. We don’t need to go back in time and make changes to send us back in time… we are great NOW.

4. Donald Trump is an embarrassment to human beings. (in my opinion)

Donald Trump is NOT a man of character. He is NOT a man of faith. He is NOT a man I would want around my child. He is NOT the type of person I want in my life… let alone the type of man I want running this country. He has offended men (by insinuating that all men talk the way he was speaking on that video), he has offended women by degrading and insulting us by speaking of women as if we are “sex objects”, he has offended special needs individuals, he has offended individuals of other races and orientations. He has blanketed Hispanics as being “rapists” and “murderers” and has chosen a running mate that believes in therapy that can be used to “fix” homosexuals. Y’all- I am embarrassed.

5. I believe in having an open mind and an open heart.

I believe with all of my heart that Jesus loves all of us. He loves those of us who are of different races, backgrounds, SES, religions and sexual orientations. I don’t believe that we have to “celebrate” all of these differences (parades, special days, etc) but we DO have to love them. For me, when a President shows discrimination against minority groups, he is NOT loving them and he is not being open minded to those that are different from him. I believe that making a choice for someone else is wrong.

There will be more.. but for now, this is what I can digest and ponder on. This has been such a hard week. I’m exhausted, and i’m pressing on. The mourning is starting to end and the fire has been lit. I don’t like what I see in our Nation. I can’t just sit back and say “I wish people knew {fill in the blank}”. I have to make SURE that they know! Hillary- your inspiration has been passed on to a generation of women who are fed up and fired up. This is OUR fight song!

With much inspiration, sincerity, and love,

Roxy

“It’s just SO time consuming”

There is a lot of truth in this statement.

I have said it before myself… and I have heard it many times from my friends. Every time the topic of saving money or spending less comes up it ALWAYS comes back to how much time it takes.

There IS truth in this statement!

Piggy Bank with Dollars
Piggy Bank with Dollars

Saving money DOES take time! It takes a lot more time than spending money. FACT.

I have been the person that clipped the coupons and had the stock pile. It’s like a diet. It’s fun for a while and you see results and it’s great and wonderful… yet somewhere along the way you lose momentum. Once that momentum is gone it is HARD to keep up the “good work.”

So, to avoid having to add an extra room on your house to contain your 14,000 bottles of detergent… let’s talk simple steps. {I will go through each of these in detail as we go along.}

  1. Get a budget binder. A notebook, some paper and a pen. That’s all you need. We can find some fancy papers to print out later, but for now just get those 3 things.
  2. Write down every bill you have! Don’t leave anything out. Knowing where your money goes is more than half the battle.
  3. Write down every debt you have. Whether it’s $45 dollars or $45,000… write it down!
  4. Make a list of everything you have in your house {food in pantry, freezer, and household items in your pantry/hall closet}

After you have done that… make yourself a cup of coffee or pour a glass of wine. That’s a lot of work and you do deserve some chill time. We have more work to do tomorrow!

For now,

Roxy

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