Dear former “person”,
I think of you often… you must know that before you keep reading. I hear songs, see movies, or visit places we used to frequent and I think of you. And when I think of you, I smile.
When you first “broke up with me” as your best friend I was hurt. Oh the hurt! It was so painful. I felt pain and confusion like I’ve never known. I questioned everything? What if I done this? What if I had said that? What did I do? Why is she doing this? The questions circled my brain for months. I dreamed about you. I’d wake up and think it wasn’t real… but it was. You had walked away from our friendship and left me broken and confused.
The hurt faded and the anger hit. And when it hit- it was strong. I was enraged at times over the way you ended “us” without so much as an explaination. I became furious as I would picture times that I dropped everything to go be by your side when you needed me. I was so upset as I recalled times I had gotten you out of trouble with your parents by covering for you. I did these things out of LOVE… yet you just walked away.
It’s been over 7 years since you called it quits on our friendship. Thankfully I’ve grown over these years. I’ve grown and matured and I no longer feel sadness or anger when I think about what you did to me. In all honesty?? I feel nothing. I look back on our 14 years of friendship and smile as I tell stories of our crazy adventures. I hear songs and smile and can picture me car dancing as you were mortified and hoped no one saw us! And then- when the moment passes- I feel nothing. You don’t hold a piece of my heart anymore… just a piece of my past.
I miss you and I still care about you in that I want good things for you. I forgive you for the hurt and I thank you for the memories. I’ve missed out on your life and you’ve missed out on mine. It’s sad, really, that we ended up here. But I wouldn’t change anything. I’m better for knowing you and having had you in my life- even if it was just for a season. And I’m stronger for learning the tough lesson that sometimes friends just walk away. That’s what I’m doing now, former friend. I’m walking away. I’ve spent years mulling over in my mind how to reach out and what I would say. I’ve written you countless letters that I didn’t send. So this is it… the closure I’ve needed and the closure than I’m finally giving to myself.
You were selfish as you left me at a time in my life when I couldn’t have needed you more… and I’m putting my self first now as I say… goodbye.
Wish you all the best in life,